Valentine’s Day: A Nightmare for Single People Every Year

I was totally that person, the one desperately wanting love in my life, but finding it damn elusive. Every year that the heart cards and buckets of roses showed up in the stores, I wanted to hang my head in shame for still being single. Can you relate?

If this resonates with you, then you might want to check out my new book — Desperately Dating — about how I cracked the code on dating and managed to find the love of my life. Here’s a lil’ taste:

Finding true love is possible. I am proof of this.

My husband likes to tease me by pointing out that I went on about 8,000 dates in my quest to eventually find him, and he’s not all that far off. It was actually closer to 30 or 40, but who’s counting? Everyone is counting, that’s who! You very possibly have an (un)impressive number of entries racked up on your dating card, too. (No judgement — that’s how the game is played!)

Because here’s a not-so-secret secret: dating is a numbers game. That means that you have to get your shit together, go on enough (read: lots of) dates, keep learning and growing, and resist settling down too soon. And you, too, will find a soul-satisfying relationship.

Sounds simple, right? Well, it can be — if we avoid getting in our own way.

I’ll tell you the story of how I did it. How I “desperately dated” in an effort to not feel so pathetic after my divorce. How I overcame the shame and embarrassment of being single in my 40s and took time to heal and learn and grow from it.

This allowed me to finally see the myths about dating and relationships that had been holding me back from finding (and staying happy with) Mr. Right.

The quest for love wasn’t necessarily an easy process for me, but neither was it hard. It just required time and effort. The cool thing is that all that time and effort helped me grow as a person, regardless of my relationship status. Read on and you’ll see what I mean.

First off, let’s begin with an eternal question: what even is love and why do we need or want it in our lives?

Our parents and seeing how they interacted with each other was likely the first introduction for most of us regarding what “love” means (for better or for worse, depending upon what we witnessed!). Were the people who raised us kind and respectful toward each other? Did they smile a lot and seem generally happy? If so, that’s what we end up expecting love to be.

But if they were acrimonious and nasty to each other with tense silences but stayed together (or split up), then that becomes our early — and possibly lifelong — understanding of how love works.

These patterns become ingrained and we tend to not be aware of or question them. Not everyone is raised in a two-person household, but I’ll wager that most of us have some early exposure to the love relationships between adults that leaves a mark (or perhaps a scar).

Society tells us that love, the romantic kind of love, is an essential element for a complete life, but the details after that become somewhat hazy. Depending upon where you get your information on such matters, love is an act of fate — a random lightning bolt shooting out of the sky and knocking you silly when you finally meet your person.

Others portray love as a complicated calculation in which we weigh a person’s faults against their assets and determine whether they’re a suitable match. Many confuse love with lust or affection, or even simple kindness. Some of us want love to heal us where we hurt. Or complete us where we’re lacking. Some want love for companionship or security or even status.

My idea of real, true love is the kind that makes you swoon but also challenges you to be a better person and never stop growing.

Love is about allowing myself to be truly naked in front of another person and not holding back who I am. It’s being seen on a deep, profound level — understood and accepted and even admired for who I am. (This can be hard to receive, or at least it was for me and maybe even still is, but I’m getting there).

And it means giving exactly that back to the other person (and it’s always way easier to give). Creating a judgment-free zone in our relationship where it’s safe for us both to learn and grow, as well as explore the world and ourselves.

It’s about having a wingman for the inevitable hard times in life, someone who won’t abandon me when things get a little tough (or when I myself get a little tough).

Love is also about celebrating the joys in life together, small and large. Cheering each other on through it all. Laughing together so hard that your belly hurts.

Much is made about fireworks and passion when talking about love, but don’t confuse those things for love (although sure, there’s gotta be some heat between you for it to be a satisfying relationship).

I admit that I’m unapologetically sex-positive (despite my fairly straitlaced upbringing). Sex is nothing to be ashamed of and can be a great source of joy, but physical stuff can’t be the only glue holding you together, because it won’t.

I’m partial to this as a definition of love by John Wellwood, American psychotherapist and author:

“When we reveal ourselves to our partner and find that this brings healing rather than harm, we make an important discovery — that intimate relationship can provide a sanctuary from the world of facades, a sacred space where we can be ourselves as we are …This kind of unmasking — speaking our truth, sharing our inner struggles, and revealing our raw edges — is sacred activity [that] allows two souls to meet and touch more deeply.”

Maybe it’s time for a bit of a disclaimer. I’m not a matchmaker or a therapist or any kind of scientist who studies romance. My own experience in love and relationships is the only real qualification I have to write on this topic, but luckily, I think that’s the only one that matters. I’ve found true love, and so this makes me an expert. Right? Okay, not really. But I am observant and have experience and wisdom from which to draw upon, and I gleefully pass those things on to you here.

You’d think that dating is merely about getting to know the other person and evaluating them as a potential romantic partner. While this is true, I found what I learned about myself through dating much more enlightening and ultimately helpful in the search for love. I thought I had it all figured out when I resumed dating after divorce, but no — no indeed I did not.

I did do some things right, though — I took some time alone, I cried, I reflected, I owned my part in the failure of my relationship, and then I made a detailed list of everything I wanted (and wouldn’t tolerate) in my next partner. Healed and whole once again, I dove back into the dating pool. If only it were that simple.

I was far from healed from the ending of my marriage when I first started dating again. But even though it goes against conventional wisdom, I do believe that dating helped heal my broken heart. It was through exposure to lots of different people via dates — lots of them — that I identified the parts of me that were still broken and hurting.

Tending to these wounds allowed me to get to know myself better, and a complete picture of what was important to me in a partner and relationship started to fully emerge. My initial list was a helpful starting point, but lived experience through dating was what allowed me to refine the sketch, so to speak, of my longed-for love.

That said, true love didn’t just show up one day and bite me in the ass. However, with a little thought, a little time, and a little patience, it got a lot easier to find my way in the dating world (you’ll see what I mean by this in a bit).

It also bears a mention that I’m a consummate introvert, and so if I can successfully navigate dating and find a great relationship, surely you can, too. It was scary and uncomfortable in the beginning, putting myself out there and meeting a lot of strangers. I was way, way outside my comfort zone.

But once I made it through the nerve-racking first few dates, gained a little confidence, and figured out my dating routine, it started to feel easier. This might not sound very romantic, but compare this with job interviews or public speaking — it really does help to practice.

And online dating is kind of a dream for introverts, if you think about it. You get to shop for a partner online, quietly and privately. You can be whoever you want while chatting virtually, so go ahead and try on some bolder sides of yourself. It’s a low step into the online dating world for the more introverted amongst us, but just make sure that you don’t stay there! It’s so important that your cyber canoodling becomes a real-life date soon.

A big tip for my fellow introverts is to look for another introvert who understands your temperament and doesn’t want to change it. To be honest, I’ve yet to meet an extroverted person who understands and accepts that we’re okay the way we are — introversion and introspection and all.

Despite your personality type, one thing remains true for all of us and that is: Your real love will love you for all of you, not despite certain parts that they grudgingly accept or even tolerate. Remember that.

In my book, I share a sample of all of the many crazy dates I went on and the insights I gained so that you can gawk, laugh at my foibles, and possibly see a bit of yourself in them. And maybe — hopefully — learn something useful.

Information about Desperately Dating, including where to purchase, can be found here.

Cover art for the book Desperately Dating by KC Shomler

June 26, 2024June 26, 2024

Ode to My Favorite Kitchen Gadget

I have a self-professed love for kitchen gadgets, the more ridiculous the better (hot dog + bun toaster anyone?). I’ve even set up an entire Instagram account dedicated to discovering and sharing these crazy finds (@stupidkitchengadgets). This quirky fixation probably stems from early childhood indoctrination via the high energy tv ads of my youth courtesy of Ron Popeil (“Set it and forget it!”) and others.

I gotta admit, I have a fair number of these gadgets on hand, but only the truly useful ones get to stick around, no matter how narrow the use (ahem, egg slicer). I run a tight ship and I can’t deal with overflowing kitchen drawers and countertops. Everything in my kitchen must be used at minimum once per year (example: turkey roasting pan) or it is out. I wish I could be this disciplined in my closet. What can I say? I am a work in progress.

Gateway Gadgets

Foghorn Leghorn Branded Egg Cooker Gadget — The gadget that started it all

The gateway gadget for me though was the Foghorn Leghorn branded egg cooker my mom bought me when I was in college (if you don’t recognize that cartoon reference then you grew up in different generation; I’m sad for you). It was a bright yellow and white ovoid shaped pod that took raw eggs to perfectly hard boiled with a splash of water and a touch of the single function button. No complicated user manuals or settings to figure out, just load it up and turn it on. No need to time or calculate, the thing just magically shut itself off with a cute little chirp when the eggs were done. I think it also had the option to make poached eggs too, but I didn’t bother with that.

Gadgets Galore

Dazzled by the quirkiness and utility of my egg cooker, I began collecting all manner of kitchen gadgets. Some were winners (rice cooker, still a work horse in my kitchen) and some were definitely losers that did not earn a permanent place in my home (cherry pitter, what was I thinking? I don’t even really like cherries). I can boldly state that I use kitchen gadgets every day. It is 630 am and I have already used my electric hot water kettle, rice cooker and egg slicer!

But there is one unassuming, maybe even a bit dowdy machine that gets no respect — the slow cooker. I am here to rectify that with a celebration of the magic of the “Crock Pot” (like Kleenex, the brand name has become synonymous with the gadget itself).

Don’t Dismiss the Crock Pot

I remember growing up in the glorious 1970s when every household had one. Usually in some unfortunate earth toned hue, sometimes with cute mushrooms or other designs. Curiously, I rarely saw them in use. I know we had an orange and brown version taking up valuable cupboard space at home, but I have no recollection of any meals coming out of it. It just gathered dust wedged in between the fondue pot and the plug-in electric wok (hmmm maybe my love of kitchen gadgets has a genetic component…). I honestly suspect it’s weight may have made it less attractive to my mom — hauling that thing out of the cabinet would have required significant upper body strength. A quick aside — I found that when I relocated my stand mixer to the counter top, I starting using it more than when I had it stored elsewhere and had to muscle it out each time. That thing is a monster!

Gorgeous dark red Kitchen Aid stand mixer against a blue tiled backsplash — Not a Crock Pot

But I love it. My point is, if it is too hard to even get it out, it’s probably not gonna be used much, if at all. I suspect this explains the dearth of Crock Pot cooking in my childhood home.

But anyway, today, my Crock Pot is a star in my kitchen. It is wayyyyyy lighter than those older, cuter versions. The ceramic insert still has some mass, but the external housing is super light. Still (thankfully) just one knob that is easy to understand. No need for precision timing, it is highly forgiving (hard to overcook stuff) and is conducive to kitchen ad-libbing. I mean look at what this thing can do; it can transform humble ingredients into magical meals like the soup below.

This is probably my death row meal: Navy bean and ham soup courtesy of my Crock Pot

I cook everything in those babies. Oh sure, the predictable soups, stews and braises are a given. But I also love to cook up dried beans to have around, avoiding all the added salt and waste that comes with buying canned. It takes a little forethought, but is worth it. They taste better and are way cheaper. Just start them in the morning and have fresh beans by dinner time. If you make too many, store them in the fridge or freeze them for later. It is also a great vehicle for slow simmering my homemade marinara sauce and saves my stove from splatter. I love that it can slow cook all day and I get to bask in the aromas without having to tend to it. There is something peaceful about cooking slowly and lazily like this. I even bought a second one (in pink!) for smaller jobs, like when I’m home alone and want to cook something just for me.

Crock Pot Versatility

Another lesser-known Crock Pot feature is that you can use it quite effectively as an oven. I do this often in the hot summer months when I want to avoid adding any extra heat to the house. I’ve done ribs and jerk chicken and even baked potatoes. It has been a life saver during the holidays when oven space is at a premium. I’ve made whole turkeys and even stuffing in that crazy thing.

Little pink number still gets the job done

It may not have 50 different functions with a code to learn for each, but it is more versatile than you might think. And guess what I sent my daughter when she was sick while away at college? A petite size for making simple soups in smaller quantities without much effort. She was thrilled. Genetic gadget love successfully passed down to the next generation.

June 15, 2024June 26, 2024

Best (GF) Coconut Pecan Brownies Ever

gluten free dark chocolate brownie with pecans and coconut — Gluten free dark chocolate brownie with pecans and coconut

I don’t have a big sweet tooth. Ask my family. I’d much rather indulge in salty fatty treats any day. Bring on the fries and the Pringles and the chili cheese Fritos. And most of you are well aware by now of my strong opinions about the superiority of savory breakfast. You can keep your waffles and pancakes and danish, I’ll be over here with the eggs, bacon and potato crowd. I’m just a savory girl.

When the rare yen for sweets appears, I do enjoy key lime pie, blackberry pie and a soft, perhaps even underbaked cookie with tons of stuff in it (the more the better).

But brownies. Brownies are my best loved sweet treat of all time. As such, I always have one eye open for a good recipe. Not that I’m gonna follow it! But I like getting ideas. I had a lot of fun tinkering with this one and the result was better than expected. Might be my favorite brownie ever, and that’s saying something!

Fight me if you don’t think these are the richest, chocolatiest, nutty nuggets of awesomeness ever. Look at that crackly top and fudgy center! And, they happen to be gluten free! Warning: must love coconuts and pecans if you’re gonna try this one.

1/2 cup butter (cow or vegan), softened

1 cup granulated sugar

1 egg

1 tsp each vanilla and coconut extracts

1/2 cup dark chocolate cocoa powder

1/2 cup oat flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup shredded coconut (sweetened or not, depends on your taste)

1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

1/2 cup chopped pecans

Preheat to 350.

I use a stand mixer for most things because I have one and I’m lazy, but you could certainly mix this by hand as well.

Cream butter and sugar together.

Add egg, coconut and vanilla extracts and cocoa powder, mix thoroughly.

Add oat flour and baking powder and mix briefly til combined.

Stir in coconut, chocolate chips and nuts.

Spread batter in a well-greased 8×8 glass baking dish. Could also use parchment to line pan.

Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. Center will still be slightly gooey.

Best if left to cool completely before cutting. I like them refrigerated.

I keep small chunks in a bag in the freezer for whenever that sneaky sweet tooth strikes.

July 12, 2023July 12, 2023

The Story Teller; Tales of Life and Music, by Dave Grohl

Picked up on a whim (I love rock ‘n roll (auto)biographies), I devoured this book. I wouldn’t say I am a huge Foo Fighters or Nirvana fan, but I am now solidly a Dave Grohl fan. What a cool guy! Took many leaps of faith, achieved amazing success, had significant losses, but still seems so grounded and grateful. And loves his mama. I really enjoyed the parts where he talks about meeting his musical heroes and about what a big fan he is himself. He has had crazy adventures and still loves to party, but will literally travel the Earth to be there for his family (blood-related and not). There is a sense that he feels things deeply, and is not afraid to show how moved he is by the magic of life. Another quote that resonated with me is “I believe that people are inspired by people”. This is why I read people’s stories including Dave’s – for inspiration. I was not disappointed here.

4 quotes from the book:

“I was an idealistic misfit, empowered by the audacity of faith and a reckless determination to do it my way.”

“…but I saw a door open before me, and rather than stay within the comfort of my tiny bedroom, I decided to dive through it, leaving a life of stability and security behind.”

“I love my children as I was loved as a child, and I pray that they will do the same when their time comes.”

“…I will still always choose to let life take its natural course, a journey with no roadmap to refer to in the event that you get lost.”

Life wisdom obtained:

The last chapter spoke to me deeply and brought on some tears – so much about bucking a conventional life in favor of a creative one despite no guarantees of success. And being happy and grateful for the whole spectrum of life.

Must read chapters:

All of them.

Will I keep it on my bookshelf or donate it? Definitely a keeper and one I will enjoy sharing with others

July 11, 2023July 11, 2023

Easy Tomatillo Salsa

When life gives you tomatillos, make salsa!

recipes are merely a suggestion — Fresh tomatillos dressed in their papery skins

Last week I stumbled across a batch of perfectly lovely fresh tomatillos whilst perusing all of the other south of the border delights in a Mexican tienda. We were actually dive bar hunting (one of my other writing gigs, check it out here) when we came across this wonderful market. I love shopping in international markets, home or abroad, whenever I get the chance. They are like magnets that just pull me in. I feel like grocery shopping is a universal task that unites us as humans and I love seeing what fun ingredients people in other countries have to work with.

These tomatillos just called my name. I knew they would make a delicious roasted salsa. And I was not wrong!

Here’s how I made it:

Peel the papery skins off of the tomatillos. Rough cut a small white onion into chunklets. Coat tomatillos and onions in a light oil and sprinkle with coarse salt.

Roast ’em on a sheet pan at around 400 degrees until everything gets soft and browned in spots. The tomatillos will make a lot of liquid – that is normal. And delicious!

Cool a bit and then transfer the veg and magical juices to a food processor or blender.

Whir them up until your desired chunkiness is reached. This is how I like mine:

Check for salt but mine didn’t need any. It was just a bright, almost citrusy flavor with a touch of tannin. This was amazing on carnitas tacos and also stirred into a bean stew. Easy as can be, go make it.

May 26, 2023June 13, 2023

Macaroni and Cheese

Last night I was overcome by a hormonal hankering for macaroni and cheese. Not that boxed bullshit, but the real, live, grate your own cheese kind.

So even though I was tired out from work and we didn’t have all the ingredients on hand, I made it work anyway. WITHOUT a trip to the store! Read on for the secrets.

Dusty box of elbow macaroni? Check. 4 butt ends of different cheeses drying out in the fridge? You know it! Heels of bread from the freezer for bread crumb topping? Always got those. Flour and butter to make the cheese sauce? Yep. Just one, tiny missing item – milk. Well, shit. I usually have a shelf full of non-dairy milks to choose from but I’ve neglected my larder in recent weeks. I did have half and half but making mac and cheese solely with that had my arteries stiffening in fear from all of that fat. What to do? Broth in a jar to the rescue!

Here are the ingredients and how I made it work:

Small-ish dry pasta shape of your liking
Flour
Butter
Salt and pepper
Nutmeg
Dry mustard
Half and half
Broth (I use the kind that comes in a jar and is prepared with water)
Sour cream (optional)
Grated hard cheese(s)
Bread remnants
Garlic bread seasoning
Pinch of parmesan cheese

Cook the pasta in salted water until just short of al dente. (I shaved about 2 minutes off of the box instructions). When done, drain and set aside right in it’s cooking pot with a little olive oil or butter to prevent stickage.

Heat the oven to 350 and butter a baking dish or do cute little individual ramekins like I did.

While pasta cooks, toast bread and apply generous amount of butter and garlic bread seasoning (I like Johnny’s Garlic Spread. Buy it at Costco). Set aside to cool.

In a saucepan, add equal amounts of butter and flour, melt over lowish-medium heat until it bubbles. Then add a bit of dry mustard powder if you have it and a pinch of nutmeg. Cook for another minute until you can smell the nutmeg -yum.

Make a mixture of approximately 3 parts broth (any variety you like, I used chicken but I bet that roasted garlic one would be amazing) to 1 part half and half and a dollop of sour cream, if you have it. Whisk broth mix into flour mix and keep whisking until it starts to thicken. Once it is all nice and hot, add the grated cheeses and keep whisking until it is all nicely smooth and creamy. Taste for salt and pepper.

Pour sauce into pasta pot and mix it all together. Taste again for salt and pepper. Pour that creamy dreaminess into whatever baking dish you are using.

Finish the bread crumbs: Tear the toast into chunks and use a blender or food processor to blend into crumbs. Stir in a bit of parmesan. Top pasta with this golden loveliness and bake uncovered in the oven until all is bubbly and the bread crumbs are crisp. Everything is cooked, so shouldn’t take too long.

Let is cool a bit and set up for best results, even though that restraint is incredibly hard to achieve. For evidence, see the burn on the roof of my mouth.

March 14, 2023June 13, 2023

Slammin’ Salmon ala KC

I’m a little opinionated when it comes to salmon. Shocking, I know. In my book, salmon from the Pacific is the only one I wanna eat. Screw that Atlantic garbage. I said I was opinionated.

I buy fresh and frozen salmon. Both taste wonderful. Provided they come from the west coast.

If you think you don’t like salmon, try this recipe. If cooking fish at home is daunting, try this recipe. It is easy and delicious. Comes together in minutes and cooks under the broiler. Here it is:

Pacific salmon fillet or fillets (I like tail pieces). Defrosted in refrigerator if frozen.

Brown sugar

Paprika (I like Spanish pimenton, it is smoky)

Dried thyme

Coarse salt (I use kosher)

Line a small sheet pan or baking tray with foil or parchment. If using foil, oil it a little so the fish doesn’t stick.

In a small dish combine brown sugar, paprika/pimenton, thyme and salt. Use your taste buds to measure. That being said, it is easy to go overboard on thyme, so my advice is to be judicious. You can always add more. This rub is good on other meats as well, especially ribs.

Lay salmon fillet skin side down on the prepared baking dish. Use your hands to rub the spice mixture all over the flesh. It should be nice and covered but not too thick. The spice mixture will create a wonderful glaze as it cooks.

Put fish under the broiler. In my oven, this usually cooks within 8-12 minutes depending how thick the fillet is. I prefer my fish cooked through, which means it flakes easily with a fork, but is not wobbly at all.

Delicious with risotto and roasted vegetables. This is one of my favorite meals.

February 26, 2023June 13, 2023

Love and Work by Marcus Buckingham

I read this book a month ago and I am still thinking about concepts from it almost daily. It’s the type of book where I found myself wanting to highlight every other sentence. Like the author was speaking to me directly. So many thought provoking concepts about work, love and even our educational system (fascinating as a parent). What does meaningful work look like for me as an individual? How do I love someone well? How do I discover what really makes me tick? I want everyone I know to read it so we can talk about everything in it!

4 Good quotes from the book:

“You don’t need to love all you do. You just need to find the love in what you do.”

“To help you see yourself for the unique creature you are, begin by resisting the pull of comparison.”

“Schools and workplaces that insist on treating all of us the same are sources of oppression.”

“Know someone’s fear and you’ll know their need. Know their need and you’ll understand their behaviour.”

Life wisdom obtained:

I don’t need to love everything about or every minute of my job. Loving what I am doing 20% of the time is sufficient.
I have to understand what my unique loves are before I can find a job that fits me.
Schools are designed to build and sell a workforce, not to help students understand themselves and reach their own individual potential.
The best relationships are about seeing and being seen, understanding the depth and complexity of each other and always viewing the other’s behaviour through the kindest possible lens.

Must read chapters:

7 – It Just Clicks

14 – Rate Me, Rank Me

16 – I See You, I Love You

17 – A Scavenger Hunt For Love

19* – Love In Learning (*Especially good for parents)

Will I keep it on my bookshelf or donate it? Definitely keeping it. When I’m not lending it out to everyone I know

February 26, 2023February 27, 2023

Waffle Mania

It’s Sunday morning and I’ve got a horrible case of the shoulds. I should be finishing the editing on my book that is coming out in April 2023 Falling Out of Love With My Career. However, productive procrastination is one of my superpowers so I am making waffles instead!

I’m not big on sweets for breakfast, but once in a while, a waffle tastes good. Thin and crispy though, none of that bready Belgian bullshit. I usually eat them with butter only, occasionally a side of good maple syrup for dipping.

Unless I’m feeling savory and then that opens up a whole new waffle universe! 86 the sugar from the batter and mix in some shredded cheese, green onions and bacon instead. My kids like this version with taco sauce on top.

This recipe (minus the bacon and cheese, duh) just happens to be vegan and gluten free. I swing that way sometimes.

(Measures are approximate; use your noggin’ ! You know what waffle batter consistency should look like.) This makes about 4 waffles on my waffle maker.

1/3 cup besan (chickpea flour)

1/3 cup almond flour

1/3 cup cassava flour

1-2 tbs flax meal

1 tsp baking powder

Pinch of salt

Couple tbs sugar (leave out if going savory)

Dash of nutmeg (optional, but delicious)

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

2 tbs oil of choice (I use coconut)

Enough milk product (I use almond) to make a thick but pourable batter

Mix the dry stuff and then combine with the wet. Let it sit for a bit and then check if more milk is needed. That besan is thirsty! Cook until crisp.

January 13, 2023April 3, 2023

2023 and Me:The Year I Put the Pedal to The Metal

My trusty old suitcase finally gave out at the end of 2022 and I like the symbolism of that. It represents a former life and all of the places I went before. I am grateful for that life and those experiences and also ready to close that chapter and move on to do new things. 2022 was about leaving my old career, healing and finding a new path forward for myself. Now 2023 is all about going for it!

To this end, I’ve got 3 big projects going down this year:

I am publishing my book baby, Falling Out of Love with My Career!

Writing this book has been a growth experience like none I’ve had before. I learned so much about myself and life transitions and I can’t wait to share it. Even though sharing with a wider audience also makes me incredibly nervous! I am a private introvert who has somehow managed to write a book that lays myself completely bare. Scary to put it out there, but doing it anyway.

I am starting a publishing business!

That’s right, I’m gonna be a publisher. Bonfire Books Press is in the works because I believe writers deserve a better deal than what most traditional publishers offer these days. More creative control, more money, better marketing. I will test the waters with my own book and then open it up to other writers with unique voices who are looking for a publishing home.

I am writing my next book: Desperately Dating!

I had a blast doing the Desperately Dating Podcast with my dream of a stepson, Zac Shomler, so now I’m going to turn that content into a book. Some of the questions I will explore in a fun, approachable way are: What is true love and how do you find it? Is it possible to enjoy dating without losing your mind and becoming totally discouraged? How do you maintain a soul-satisfying relationship?

I am really excited for this year! These three projects will be incredibly fun, but I am also looking forward to enjoying more of my daily joys that keep me grounded and happy as well. Like reading good books or swimming (only reason to have a gym membership in my book) and cooking for those I love. Or discovering and sharing quirky new kitchen gadgets to delight and amaze. Spending quality time with my man visiting dive bars, drinking martinis at home or enjoying restful Sundays on the couch with good shows and popcorn. I will also continue to advocate for my mom as she navigates our challenging American healthcare system – at least there is still a good use for all my training and experience working in the medical field. The big stuff matters, but the little stuff also gives my life a lot of richness and texture.

Symbolically, I have replaced my old faithful case with this snazzy new number, in Caribbean Blue (of course). We are ready for new (ad)ventures! Here I come 2023, it’s gonna be a great year.